Author Archives: The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.

Digital banking.

I was listening to the wireless recently and left the room for a moment and when I returned I caught the end of an article about a digital bank which said they had no branches as the were digital, which … Continue reading

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I can sleep on a clothes line.

When I first moved to the countryside I was surprised at how many things were different from town living, one of the most obvious to me was how quiet it was. As we speak I am sitting at my desk … Continue reading

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The pheasants are revolting.

There was a story yesterday about an angry pheasant who is terrorising a neighbourhood by biting and clawing residents, chasing pets and postmen. Apparently this bird is so vicious that postmen are forced to defend themselves by squirting vinegar spray … Continue reading

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Adolf Hitler and the wonderful view.

When I was much younger and still taking holidays with my parents I can remember being taken to the countryside or the seaside and my parents commenting, “oh what a wonderful view.” Whereas I was thinking, “is it really, I … Continue reading

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M1 closed for twelve nights.

As I mentioned previously I am attempting to keep this site more related to matters of concern to people living in the country which is not as easy as you might think, especially for an ex townie like myself. However, … Continue reading

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New year, new beginning.

It’s a new year and therefore I am making sweeping changes to my life, well that may be a slight exaggeration I am in fact doing nothing more than rearranging my blogs and websites, starting with this one. When I … Continue reading

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#FOWC Revenge.

#FOWC Revenge. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with this post today, except that I am attempting to take part in Fandango’s One Word Challenge, hence the rather peculiar #FOWC at the beginning of the post. Further … Continue reading

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