Computers are morons.

I have posted before on this subject, but have just come up against another ludicrous aspect of computer technology which proves yet again that computers are the stupidest thing ever invented by man.

Over the years man has invented many many things to make our lives easier, the bicycle went faster than we could walk, the car went faster than the bicycle, etc etc. Then along came the computer which when I first got one and before I found broadband went slower than life itself.

Gradually with the aid of broadband we could surf the net at the speed of light and even an old Luddite like myself had to admit it was a very useful tool for so many things, at least while the damn thing is working properly.

It is some time since my last fracas with my computer, so long, in fact that I have forgotten what I had reason to shout at the thing for, whatever it was pales into insignificance compared to it’s latest stupidity.

With ever more concern over the security of the internet one is constantly checking to see if the sites one is visiting are secure and just recently quite a few of the sites I used to use regularly have come up as not secure or not available at all.

Seeking advice on the matter from a young person who knows about these things, it seems I needed to clear my cache, (I think that’s what he said) and to clear my cookies. Blow me down, having cleared my browsing history, all of a sudden all the difficult sites immediately became available and secure.

The explanation for this phenomenon in layman’s terms was that if my computer had made a mistake searching for a site which had come up as unavailable it would continue to repeat this mistake until I cleared the history.  Now why would any machine be so stupid as to act in this fashion.

If, for example I were dealing with another human being and asked them, would you please open the door for me I will follow behind and they blatantly disregarded my request, I would be somewhat surprised and be forced to inform them to stop acting like a complete idiot, yet this action from a computer apparently makes sense. Computers, unlike human beings will continue to bash their heads on a brick wall no matter how much metaphorical blood may be streaming down their face.

I have never had this problem before and have no idea why it has all of a sudden appeared, which leaves me wondering how many other people are suffering the same fate, especially those which I have given my website details to in an attempt to prompt them to purchase some of the books I write. How many I wonder, have had the same problem and just given up trying to get to my site?

At least I can now get to the sites which before were unavailable but unfortunately along with my history which was deleted I have lost other information, for example the list and connection of people who were following this blog.

Should any of my readers happen to be computer whiz kid and understand the problem I have experienced, I would be delighted to hear a proper explanation of this strange behaviour, assuming of course your computer will let you contact me.

I have done extremely well getting through this post without SHOUTING, I am obviously becoming accustomed to the idea that computers are morons and we just have to accept their ludicrous behaviour if we wish to maintain a normal level of blood pressure.

In that calming vein I would therefore like to wish all my readers a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

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About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.
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9 Responses to Computers are morons.

  1. I clean my cache every night. I have a really cheap low-memory laptop and if I don’t clear it, I can only go about 3 days before I run out of memory.

    • I was surprised as I’ve never had this problem before, I think and as you can well tell I have no real idea, but every time you visit a site and you have to click “Accept cookies” before you are allowed access, I assume you are bunging your computer full of rubbish you probably don’t need!

      • You don’t need to accept cookies in order to visit sites (blogs at least). You can ignore it and keep scrolling, but it acts like an ad and stays on screen. Cookies, in my opinion, are not a huge problem because I like being able to stay logged in and/or known by the site, but I will delete cookies for shopping sites. What takes up the most space is your cache. Cookies and cache are fundamentally two different things. The cache is like a directory of every page you’ve visited. Every image, link, word, etc is stored in your cache to speed loading times when you visit that site again. Imagine printing every webpage you visit – that’s your cache.

  2. What I mostly can’t see the sense in is the cache has found a site I regularly visit (not a shopping site) and for some strange reason it has suddenly decided it is no longer secure, or it will not go there at all as the site doesn’t exist. It has persisted with these actions even when I have used another device to check they are secure or available and it would not change it’s actions until I deleted my cache history. It seems it can save good things like being a short cut but will for some reason if it gets the wrong idea in it’s head will persist and continue to bash it’s head on the wall.

  3. I frequently find myself trying to reason with my computer like one might with a recalcitrant child. I’m not sure what this says about either of us.

  4. Marleen says:

    What do you think about a person who would get personally offended — such as on behalf of a friend (and take sides against the humanity of the human) — for my calling such a machine a “stupid computer” [like a stupid anything when a person is frustrated]?

    • I’m a little unsure what your question is but will do my best to answer without giving offence as one has to be so careful nowadays. I’m not altogether au fait with modern terminology but I believe someone who becomes offended on behalf of someone else is usually referred to as a snowflake, as for taking sides against the humanity of the human I’m afraid you’ve lost me there. I am but a simple man who gets a tad frustrated when his computer doesn’t work properly.

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