Another day, another dollar.

Here we are at the start of yet another day, well when I say start it seems like the start, although it actually started about two hours ago.

This is my first experience of family life with children, actually that’s not strictly true. The lady I’m with at the moment was a girlfriend from years ago when she had two young children, who I must say drove me mad.

One of them seemed to think it was frightfully amusing to move my diary and every time I needed it she would laugh like a train as I rushed frantically around looking for it.

To some extent I think the children were one of the main reasons we split up and yet now I find myself back with her, ensconced in the countryside ( never one of my favourite places, except to pass through driving my rally car, oh happy days!) and this time she has even more children. I must be mad!

She…no, we, have four children who seem to be sharing our house, the two elder children and two of thirteen and fourteen which she adopted some years ago and I’m blissfully happy. What can have gone wrong?

I’m older and obviously more experienced in life, more able to cope with the shit that life seems to throw at you and in a strange way I’ve always enjoyed a challenge.

Children are rather like trying to push water uphill, or so it seems; they are lazy, ineffectual, slow, gangly, confusing, annoying creatures with the attention span of a gnat. Whatever task you ask them to do will have utterly disapeared from their brain the minute they utter the word yes.

Perhaps they are being groomed by some secret terrorist organisation who at a later date will issue the secret command word and they will spring into action and commit some hideous terrorist atrocity.

I must say I wouldn’t want that to happen but it would be nice to see them spring into action to do something, (spring being the operative word), most of the time I’ve seen paint dry quicker than they move.

Still, I’ve packed them both off to school, cleared up from last night, let the dogs out, lit the fire (again!), I’m just going to make breakfast for my girlfriend who as we speak is having a well deserved lay in bed and now written my blog.

That’s just the last two and a half hours, how can I possibly amuse myself for the rest of the day as I no longer have a job. I had thought early retirement would be somewhat more restful than this. Well surprise, surprise there is always something it seems that needs repairing or organising here and I’m just the man to do it.

On the subject of jobs I must get around to blogging about the awful Margaret Thatcher and not having a job, in the mean time there is the garage I’m still half way through clearing out.

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About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, althought to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non existant. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which if I had the time would be updated on a much more frequent basis, however country life and children seem to be a full time occupation. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. That's all for now, toodle pip.
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